Dysfunctional Christmas

Yes, I'm a Christmas Girl! It's not meant to offend any of you who celebrate Kwanzaa or channhka or even those that celebrate in a different way, but if I'm going to be true to myself and my faith I have to say that I joyously celebrate CHRISTMAS.

So why the title Dysfunctional Christmas you ask? Well, I figure that there are many of you out in this crazy world that have families that are less then perfect and getting through the holidays can be trying. I understand, trust me when I say I'm with you on this one.

Having a joyous Christmas is in the soul, not in what families do....or don't do to you or for you. This is my way of encouraging you to grab the holidays, both Christmas and New Years and enjoy every moment of it!

I know that the holidays are hard to face without "family" and whether you're single or divorced, your spouse is on deployment, death in the family or just a family you choose not to spend time with, Christmas can be a heart breaker, but just because you're not going to be surrounded by tons of family this year is no reason not to have a great Christmas. With a little planning, it can be a wonderful time of year.

Here are my ideas to keep the soul growing strong and Christmas (and New Years) a happy occasion!

Decorate the house. Even if you're the only one who's going to see it, take the time to decorate your home. Put up a Christmas tree, hang some lights. Send out cards. Make Christmas cookies. One of the hardest things about spending Christmas in a dysfunctional state, is the feeling that everyone else is having a great time and you've been excluded. Make sure you're not excluding yourself.

Plan something special. There's nothing worse than hearing everyone else's excitement over the upcoming holidays and having nothing to look forward to so fix that with a special treat. Special Date: Just you and your spouse? take time to go to that special restaurant or day trip that you've saved for a special time, heck no time like the present or take a cruise: Have you ever seen the Christmas lights on a boat, just wonderful - dinner cruises can be relatively inexpensive or better yet pack and picnic and sit on the harbor looking at the decorated boats that sail by.

Be around other people. Sitting around the house by yourself on Christmas Day is enough to depress anyone. Find people to be with. If you have friends that are alone this Christmas, host a dinner at your house. If you'd like to help out somewhere there are always soup kitchens and charities that need people on Christmas Day. Whatever you decide to do make sure you have someone to say "Merry Christmas" to.

Give yourself some quiet time. Sometimes the reason we're alone at Christmas is a sad one. If this is you this season, give yourself the time and the permission to feel sad, just don't let it become your focus. Christmas has a way of turning the world into a fantasy place where everyone is supposed to be happy and everything is wonderful. Resist the urge to fake a smile all through the month of December. If you heart is broken this year, take the time to remember, to look at old pictures, to mourn. Just make sure you call a friend afterwards and go for coffee. Life does go on.

Above all remember that you are not alone in have a dysfunctional family or holiday season so take time to reconnect with old friends, co-workers or strange enough family members that your not so fond of.

Merry Christmas!